“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 3:18
Are you mirroring God’s love in your marriage?
“Lord, tell me what’s wrong? What happened to our marriage? We were so passionate about each other just a few years ago.”
That was my prayer after six years of marriage.
Keith, an attorney in the Air Force (JAG), worked at Richards Gebauer Air Force Base in Kansas City, and 18-month-old Kristin and I were left in a small apartment with no car. Everything I did was wrapped up in this bundle of energy.
At night, Keith walked through the door tired. Sometimes, I met him with a quick kiss. Other times, I focused on Kristin.
Our evenings were simple: eat dinner, cuddle Kristin, put her to bed, watch television, and go to bed. Our marriage had become routine.
The Problem
God answered my prayer. The problem was me. Ouch!
Kristin had become my first priority – over God and over Keith.
“What do I do, Lord?”
“Seek Me. Realign your priorities. Make Me first, Keith second, and Kristin third.”
“Kristin third? She’s a toddler, Lord. I don’t know about this. I can’t do this. Do You really want me to make her third? Help me understand.”
The Solution
Slowly, I refocused. I dug deeper into the Bible and began to pray more often.
Eventually, I took my precious toddler, secured her in her car seat, drove Keith to work, handed my crying daughter over to the nursery worker, and attended the women’s Bible study.
Step by step, God was preparing us for what lay ahead.
When Keith came home from work, we still ate dinner, put Kristin to bed, and watched television.
But slowly, I noticed a difference. I enjoyed being with Keith more. Our conversations became more interesting, and I began to study him.
Why? I wanted to know how I could bless him. I what delighted him and adjusted my words, touch, and actions so that they would bless him.
I stopped asking God to change him. My prayers became, Lord, bless him and who me how to bless him.
Much to my surprise, Keith noticed and began to bless me.
Mirrored reflections of God’s love began to appear.
A new tradition grew out of this season of discovery. We loaded Kristin into the stroller and began to walk with each other and discuss the day. We’ve been walking ever since.
The Stretch
That wake-up call prepared me for a marriage that stretched our limits. We climbed mountain peaks and trekked through valleys of darkness as we traipsed the world from one Air Force base to another.
After the Air Force, Keith’s next career proved to be even busier. And my career took off. We were much busier than at the 6-year point, but we had God and each other as priorities. A three-strand cord: God, Keith, and me. Who could tear us apart? (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
Threesomes are strong when they include God.
The Design
Marriage begins the Bible and ends it. God fashioned Eve and presented her to Adam to become one flesh with him. She was designed to serve God as a helpmate, Adam’s partner on a mission to do the work God had commanded.
Eve was God’s love gift to Adam.
Marriage is a love gift from God – a mirrored reflection of God’s love.
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God wants His relationship with His people to be as intimate as marriage can be. God refers to Himself as Israel’s husband (Isaiah 54:5) and she is His “beloved of My soul” (Jeremiah 12:7).
Married couples walk throughout the Bible – from Genesis to Revelation, and one entire book, The Song of Solomon, is devoted to the marriage story.
Marriage is God’s story. It’s Jesus’ story. It’s a husband’s and wife’s story.
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Marriage is the story of Jesus and the church. The marriage supper of the Lamb (Jesus) celebrates the culmination of history as we know it. The bride is the beautifully adorned church (Revelation 19:7).
The Purpose
What if God created marriage as a tangible picture of His love for His sons and daughters? As wives, we can adorn ourselves with mirrored reflections of God’s love today.
Mission is what marriage is to be all about. For marriage finds its ultimate purpose outside of itself in the central role it plays in the mission of God. No other human relationship reveals the pattern of God’s relationship with humanity and with His people as well as a loving and stable marriage. What a privilege and responsibility is given to every believing married couple. The intimacy of their union, the life-giving vitality of their relationship, and consistency of their faithfulness to one another in marriage reveals the very gospel of Jesus Christ.
Mark and Priscilla Young in Marriage: Its Foundation, Theology, and Mission in a Changing World, p. 371
In Ephesians 5:32, Paul writes that marriage is a mystery, a secret that is now revealed. Marriage reflects the Good News of Jesus and His church.
Marriage points to the Good News. The kingdom of God. Jesus.
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What It Takes
First, it takes an honest look at our relationship with God. Are we sitting in the presence of God and beholding His beauty (Psalm 27:4)? Are we seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness above everything else, even our “to-do” list of good works (Matthew 6:33)?
If we have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are God’s daughters. Proverbs 27:19 says, “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.”
As we focus on God and allow Him to take our hands, He will guide us on the path He has planned. His love will shine through us onto others. Yes, even our husbands.
Marriage is hard work. It takes work for a relationship to grow more intimate, whether it is our relationship with God, a friend, fiancé, or our husband.
If your husband is not a Christian, you can still reflect God’s love and bless your husband. As he sees God at work in you, the Holy Spirit may soften his heart and prompt him to accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior (1 Corinthians 7:16).
The key is to bless, not to get.
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We can let our lights shine so that our husbands will give glory to God (Matthew 5:16).
Let’s behold God’s glory and allow Him to transform us into wives who mirror His love and reflect it upon our husbands.
Creator of heaven and earth, You created man and woman to serve You together in unity as one flesh. We want to draw closer to You and to our husbands. Help us to understand Your great love for us in a deeper way, so that we mirror that love, reflecting it upon our husbands. Lord, transform us. Walk with us as we prioritize our relationships with You and our husbands. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Will you make a commitment to work hard on behalf of your marriage?
Let’s make it official. What action will you take today to bless your husband? Share it in the comments below.
Related Links:
Reflecting God’s Love in Marriage
Featured Photo by sobhan joodi on Unsplash
