Languages of Love

“And a cloud overshadowed them, and a voice came out of the cloud,
“This is my beloved Son; listen to him.” Mark 9:7

Jesus took Peter, James, and John with Him, and they walked up a high mountain. He was transfigured there, and the clothing of Jesus became a radiant white. Moses and Elijah appeared and talked with Jesus. Not knowing what to say, Peter offered to make tents for the three of them. Then, they heard God tell them that Jesus was His Son. The command, listen to Him.

We listen to Jesus through reading the Bible, praying, waiting, praising, confessing, and much more. Listening intently is foundational in our relationship with Jesus.

Listening is also foundational in our marriages. Gary Chapman has gifted us with some insight in The 5 Love Languages.

Although we can be predominant in one or two of the love languages that Gary Chapman reveals, Jesus used all of the love languages, even more than five.

We have different ways of showing each other our love. He might show her that he loves her by touching her. She doesn’t interpret the tap on the shoulder as love. She values spending an uninterrupted evening with him and interprets that sacrifice of time as love.

Both speak love, but they are not listening from the heart to the other’s love language. We must study each other. We must know each other’s love language. Gary Chapman has broken down the languages into 5 categories.

Words of Affirmation

“You are altogether beautiful, my love;
there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7

Jesus expressed His love for His followers by telling them.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34

I love to speak the Scriptures to Keith, especially, the Song of Solomon. Each anniversary, we recite the Song of Solomon to each other. But throughout our weeks, we enjoy speaking the words of the Scriptures to each other. God called Israel the “beloved of my soul” Jeremiah 12:7. Keith is my “beloved of my soul.”

Quality Time

One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple. Psalm 27:4

The very reason that Jesus came was so that we could be with Him forever. David prayed to God that His presence brought the fullness of joy forever, Psalm 16:11.

Being fully in the presence of each other, only focused on each other. That is my love language. I love our walks together. We begin our walks holding hands and talking about the day. Pretty soon, we are silent and relishing each others’ presence. Enjoying nature. Enjoying each other.

Receiving Gifts

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

God gave His most precious gift to the world, Jesus, to pay the price we should have paid for our sins, death and separation from God, John 3:16. Is there any gift that we can give that compares with God’s gift?

Gifts can be simple or expensive. Do you know what types of gifts please your spouse? Flowers? Tools?

One day, Keith gave me a package that had a pink tool belt in it. I would never have thought that a tool belt would please me, but that one did. I had just retired and was spending a lot of time in the garden. He was creative in helping me carry out my new hobby.

Acts of Service

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45

In John 13:5, we see Jesus washing the feet of His disciples. He took on the role of a servant to cleanse the feet of His friends.

Living for the other in all that we do. That was the aim of Jesus. He came to serve. Husbands and wives are also to live in service to each other and to God’s children, putting others, especially our spouses, above ourselves.

It takes strategic study to serve. It takes asking, “How can I serve my husband, so that he understands that I love him?”

Keith loves homemade biscuits and appreciates the efforts. It’s a simple way to tell him I love him.

Physical Touch

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine;” Song of Solomon 1:2

Jesus touched the leper, and he was healed, Matthew 8:3. Touch heals. It delights. It comforts.

God gave His sons and daughters the five senses. Each of the senses gives us delight. The sense of touch joins one body with the other.

A simple touch on the hand, a loving embrace, or a hand slowly fluttering through the top of his head can send chills down his spine.

Ask him what touches excite him.

Keith’s love language is touch. I never enter a room where he is without touching him.

Father, thank You for language. You are the Master of Communication. Thank You for giving us these five love languages and many more ways to communicate with You and our loved ones. Help us to listen with our hearts as we study You and our spouses, so that we show them in undeniable ways that we love them and cherish them. In Jesus’ name, amen.