I Prayed for Death – God Gave Me Life

“God, I thought I was doing what You wanted me to do. I’m in college. I’m engaged to the man You prepared for me to marry. But, I’m in and out of hospitals. No one knows what’s wrong. What do you want me to do?”

Silence.

I endured three semesters; then, I gave up and went home … a college dropout … a failure at 19.

Continue reading I Prayed for Death – God Gave Me Life

5 years healed!

Guitar KiteA stranger walked up to me and gave me this heavy kite.

 
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:28-31
When I was 19 and in the hospital, a Methodist minister blessed me by introducing me to Isaiah 40:31. It soon became my life verse. It became God’s promise to me as I struggled with an unknown disease. In 2001, I learned that it was celiac, and I am able to control it through diet.
Unlike the celiac, when fibromyalgia was triggered in my body around 1995, I was unable to control the symptoms. Fibromyalgia is a savage condition. It zapped my energy, stole my memory, and smacked me with pain.
I went from one doctor to another, from pills to injections, from diet cures to supplement cures. I was sustained for awhile, but in 2010, I deteriorated to the point where my doctor wanted me to go on disability, but I refused. He then reduced my work week. I continued to get worse.
I prayed, I cried, I questioned, I read.
Father, I thought You had work for me to do in my job! I can’t do the work like I am.
Silence.
Okay, Father, I’ll resign myself to bed. You must want me to suffer graciously and be a testimony that way.
On Saturday, November 20, 2010, I gave up. I decided to resign from work.
On Sunday, Keith drove us to church. Head on the headrest, I turned my face toward him.
There’s that healing service tonight. Want to go?
Sure.
No discussions followed.
Our church and another church sponsored the event; we were church leaders, so we went.
The praise music was incredible, and the Holy Spirit blessed the people tremendously.
The minister called for those with hearing problems to come forward for prayer. One of our friends came back crying … his deaf ear now heard.
The minister called for those with sight problems to come forward for prayer. One of our church members returned seeing perfectly, although she was scheduled for cataract surgery the following Tuesday.
When the minister called for those with chronic pain to go forward, Keith grabbed my arm and marched me right up to the front.
God used that man’s touch to pour His peace, His healing into me and onto Keith.
Five years ago today, the Lord worked a mighty miracle in my body and my spirit, confirmed a miracle by my doctor.
Five years ago today, I received a new life, a new freedom, a new peace, and new strength.

Four gifts God gave me on November 21, 2010

  1. New life. I told someone yesterday that I was always “pretty puny … until now.” I was limited by my sicknesses. Today, I am only limited by self-inflicted limitations. My God is limitless.
  2. New freedom. Since I was healed, God gave me the freedom to be bold about proclaiming His goodness, His works, and His promises. He has given me the freedom to recognize the works He is doing in others and the opportunities to point them to Jesus. My God frees me to be bold.
  3. New peace. The Lord’s healing filled me with His peace, a peace beyond understanding, a peace in the midst of the storm. My God pours out His peace.
  4. New strength. On January 1, 2011, just five weeks after the Lord’s healing, I ran on the beach flying a heavy kite that a stranger walked up to me and gave me a kite. Six months after the Lord’s healing, I climbed half-way up the Great Wall of China (half-way due to lack of time). My God restores strength.

God answers prayer in His timing. Wait upon the Lord expecting Him to act, and He will work wonders beyond your imagination in and through you.

My prayer

Father, thank You for answering the prayers of Your children. Thank You for working in our lives, for restoring our strength, pouring out Your peace, freeing us to be bold, and showing us our self-limiting attitudes. Bless these readers with Your healing touch that strengthens their lives, their dreams, and their intimacy with You. We love You, Lord.

This week, ask God to free you to be bold for Him.

Please share how God is working in your life with readers.

Destitute in Delhi? Sickness? God is near

Slide1

A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? Proverbs 18:14

In a hot bus in Delhi, people jammed together, even riding on the roof. Destitute. Crushed spirit?

A 19-year-old girl lay in her hospital bed wondering if she would have to live much longer … a burden on her parents and her brothers.

Father, take me to be with You! My parents can’t afford many more hospital bills. They’re tired, Lord. I’m tired. I don’t want to live like this. So many medical tests. So many doctors poking and questioning. So much pain. Take me!

Crushed spirit?

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Taa…dddt, taa…dddt, taa…dddt, taa…dddt.  Silence. I look at the hospital room door. A white-haired man with black rimmed glasses smiles at me.

“I’ve been praying for you. May I come in?”

I nod.

This stranger with a cat-like smile and crutches praying for me? How’d he hear about me?

At my moment of despair, God sent me Reverend Henry. Christians I did not know were praying for me at churches I had not heard of.

That summer, Reverend Henry and I poured over the Scriptures together. He discipled me in the grace and goodness of God. Although he lived with legs ravaged by polio, his face glowed with joy.

Hospitals, doctors, and medical tests had become my way of life, but Reverend Henry showed me how to put my joy in the Lord.

A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

I was finally diagnosed with Celiac, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Sometimes, a diagnosis is a relief.

In those nights when I could not sleep because of the pain, I found solace in the Psalms.

David’s spirit was crushed many times.

I cry out day and night before you. Let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry! For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol. Psalm 88:1-3

Then, he thought about his God, the Creator of the Universe, the One who had chosen David to be king, the Lord of Hosts who had empowered him to kill Goliath. David turned from his problems, his brokenness, to the greatness of God, and he praised God.

In the depths of our pity pit, God is near. He sent me Reverend Henry. He touched David as he prayed.

How has God reached through your brokenness to save you?

My prayer

Father, thank You that you are near when Your children are broken. I pray a special blessing for the men and women in the photo. Make Yourself known to them. Give them hope and eternity with You. Father, show us how we can be a Reverend Henry to others. Send us with joyful hearts. We love you, our Great and Dear Lord!

Epilogue

God miraculously healed me of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome on November 21, 2010. I still have Celiac Disease, but that is controlled with diet. The sickness and pit drew me close to God and to my husband. God prepared me through that brokenness to do what I am doing today.

May you recognize what God is doing in your life and rejoice!