As we grow in our relationship with God, others notice. We begin to communicate differently. God’s steadfast love transforms our communication as well as our actions.

“Let Your steadfast love come to me, O LORD, Your salvation according to Your promise; then shall I have an answer for him who taunts/mocks me, for I trust in Your Word.  And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, for my hope is in Your rules/ordinances/justice. …”  (Psalm 119:41-43)

Our Father’s love prepares us to answer someone who taunts us or speaks negatively. God promises that His Word (the Bible) equips us to answer the way God would want us to answer.

The answer comes to us after we have waited and trusted God’s unwavering love and His Word. In the waiting and  hoping in the Lord, we find strength, rest, and peace.

Our hope is based on God’s way, His rules, justice, ordinances. We learn God’s rules by studying His Word (the Bible) and applying them to our lives with  the Holy Spirit’s guidance, for He  teaches us.

Scripture Application

We can apply this Scripture  to our marriages, our family, neighbors, and to others we meet. And the words we use will be sweet.

“How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” (Psalm 119:103)

Are God’s words sweet to your taste?

When we taste sweetness, do we want to share that sweetness with others? How are you sharing God’s words, His love with others?

We listen deeply. Our senses listen (hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste); our hearts listen, and our minds listen. Listening causes us to pray and ask for wisdom, God’s wisdom.

 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)

With God’s wisdom, we are able to look intently into His Word, pray, and start walking the path He is shined His light upon.

“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)

Is God’s Word leading you by lighting your path?

Meanings Matter

Real communication happens when meanings meet.

Last week, Keith and I saw a sign that said, “Clean dirt wanted.” Clean dirt? Can dirt ever be clean? What in the world is being requested?

I know not to go into a nursery and ask for dirt. When I did, I was promptly asked what kind of soil I wanted. I thought I wanted dirt; I didn’t know that I wanted soil.

Did you know that there are different kinds of soil depending on what you want it to nurture? Of course, there’s potting soil for your plants in pots. Home Depot even has a guide for buying soil.  There’s topsoil, garden soil, and raised bed soil, in addition to the potting soil. There are soil amendments and fertilizers. The list can go on.

“Clean dirt” is free from contaminants like chemicals, oils, and hazardous materials. It doesn’t have organic materials in it, so it’s not good for planting gardens. It’s good for construction and creating foundations.

We need “clean dirt” in our marriages, our friendships, and neighborhoods to set communication foundations, but we also need the other types of communication soils for our relationships to blossom.

Communication is more than what we say. Communication begins with deep listening. Listening to words but also listening to the depths of the other person’s heart. And it’s taking the understanding that we have gleaned from that listening and responding to it.

The response can be a touch of the hand, a hug, a praise, an encouragement, a question, or a deep conversation. A kind response honors the person you are with and grows intimacy.

“My lips will pour forth praise, for You teach me Your statutes.
 My tongue will sing of Your word, for all Your commandments are right.” (Psalm 119:171-172)

Do you sing praises to God? Do you sing praises to your loved ones? We can praise God about His character, works, actions, and much more. We can even find reasons to praise our husbands and others when we have concerns.

Praise Before and After Concerns

 We can praise others in the same way, even  if we disagree or need to bring up a concern we have. Our communication can be kind.

“To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: ‘The words of Him who holds the seven stars in His right hand, Who walks among the seven golden lampstands.’I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for My name’s sake, and you have not grown weary.” (Revelation 2:1-3)

Can you tell that Jesus loves the Ephesians? He begins His conversation in love, praising them for all that they have done and endured for His name’s sake.

Then, He tells them His concerns and the consequences if they don’t change.

“But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.” (Revelation 2:4-5)

Jesus returns to what they are doing right and the consequences of that.

“Yet this you have: you hate the works of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.’”(Revelation 2:6-7)

But we must be careful that the practice of praising and then bringing up something that needs to be changed isn’t the only time that we praise others. Otherwise, the praise might become dreaded if it always brings criticism.

Praying Scripture

We can personalize Scripture as prayers to God.  We can also personalize Scriptures as praise to our husbands and loved ones. Song of Songs 5:10-16 is a Scripture I have personalized in the past to describe my husband. After I prayed and personalized it, I  read my description to him. Keith melted.

We can personalize many Scriptures. For example, for Valentine’s Day one year, I created a card for Keith using 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

This is what I wrote in the card.

My Beloved is patient and kind. 
He rejoices with the truth. 
He  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, 
endures all things. 
His love never ends. 
This is my friend.
>This is my Beloved.
>This is my cherished love.
I’m living Valentine’s Day each day of the year!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Words … praising words … declarations of love … time spent remembering … encouraging … time with each other. 

Spending daily time together with our husbands and family is important as is spending daily time with God. It is the key to a growing and intimate relationship.

Quality time might look like taking a walk together, working out together, gardening together, discussing the Bible together, sitting in silence together as you watch the sun go down, and much more.

Time focusing on our attitudes towards our husbands, God’s sons, and other sons and daughters of God. It’s putting on God’s love for others.

Putting On God’s Love

Colossians 3:12-17

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

Are you compassionate, kind, humble, meek, and patient with your husband and others?

bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Are you bearing with them and forgiving them as God has forgiven you?

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Love binds people together.

As we love, we are bound together with Christ’s peace that passes understanding. As His peace rules in our hearts, Jesus becomes the center of our lives.  His peace binds us closer to each other and produces thankfulness.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Spending daily time in the Word, teaching others and admonishing in wisdom, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness. How’s that going?

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3:12-17)

How are you dealing with your husband and others in the name of the Lord Jesus and giving the Father thanks?

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
(Proverbs 25:11)

Related Links

Resolved: Listen Deeply … 5 Strategies

Glowing Communication in Marriage Listens and Responds in Love

Are You Listening?

Seeing and Hearing Our Husbands

“Clean Dirt” photo created in Canva.