Do you see God’s love in your marriage? You can begin by taking 3 steps to seeing God’s love in your marriage.
If marriage is the earthly picture of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32), then we need to examine our approach to our marriages.
Some of us wives at Calvary Chapel Beaumont are going through Sharon Jaynes’ book on the Song of Songs (Song of Solomon), Lovestruck, and her Bible Study Guide. In the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing adaptations from some of the devotions that I have shared.
The Bible begins and ends with marriage. Jesus’ first miracle occurred at a marriage. We’re privileged to peek into the good and bad marriages of couples in the Bible. An entire book, the Song of Songs, is dedicated to the marriage of one couple. Marriage is important to God. Marriage reflects God’s love for us, although our marriages are imperfect.
The Jews read the Song of Songs at Passover because they believe that the book reflects the love of a man and woman for each other, AND it is also a picture of the covenantal love relationship with God.
Passover is a celebration of God freeing the Israelites from Egyptian slavery. Egypt represented sin and darkness in the Bible.
Brad and Marilyn Rhoads shared what the Christian marriage should look like in The Grace Marriage: How the Gospel and Intentionality Transform Your Relationship.
If God designed marriage as a witness to the love between Christ and the church, it should be a union of astounding, magnetic sacrificial love. In fact, apart from your union with Christ, marriage should be the relationship that you pursue most passionately—to grow in serving, blessing, knowing, loving, and in true intimacy (p. 201).
This kind of marriage doesn’t come naturally. Below are three beginning steps we can take.
Step 1: Neglect To Nurture
Now let me sing to my Well-beloved
A song of my Beloved regarding His vineyard:
My Well-beloved has a vineyard
On a very fruitful hill.He dug it up and cleared out its stones,
And planted it with the choicest vine.
He built a tower in its midst,
And also made a winepress in it;…
For the vineyard of the LORD of hosts is the house of Israel,
And the men of Judah are His pleasant plant.
Sounds like Song of Songs, doesn’t it?
And the vineyard is God’s possession: Israel. The Beloved (God) is tending to His vineyard, Israel, His wife.
The Beloved dug up the dirt and removed the stones. He planted choice vines and built a tower in the middle of it. He also built a winepress to extract the sweetness of the grapes.
That’s hard work, but nothing is too good for His bride.
Step 2: Grumbles to Gratitude
God led the Israelites from slavery to covenantal love as He led them into the wilderness to Mt. Sinai. They walked with God.
Many times, they grumbled. And when they approached the Promised Land, they refused to enter, the first time.
When a new generation grew up, God gave them a second chance, and He led them into the Promised Land.
Sometimes, our marriages seem like seasons of grumbling like the Israelites experienced in the wilderness, before and after they reached Mt. Sinai and heard from God.
They grumbled when they got their eyes off God and onto themselves and their seemingly impossible situations.
Isn’t that what we do? We’re focused on ourselves and our expectations and comfort.
Step 3: Self-focus to Other-focus
What if we got our eyes off our strife and challenges in our marriages and looked to God?
What if we saw our husbands through God’s eyes – as God’s sons, if they have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior?
When a friend asked Keith what the secret to our marriage was, he said, “Each of us lives for the other.”
That’s the key, isn’t it?
Before thinking of ourselves, we think of our beloved.
Several years ago, Keith asked, “Have you noticed that when you get up first, you make my tea before you make yours, and when I get up first, I make your tea before mine?”
Thinking of the other first.
It’s easy with tea, but it can be challenging when children are involved, the mortgage needs to be paid, home is half-way around the world, or a chronic illness interrupts plans.
Other-focused … 3 Steps
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.
1. Remember your first love. List what you loved about your husband when you were dating.
2. Repent. Turn from your disappointment and grumbling. Ask for forgiveness.
3. Do what you did before. Begin dating. Praise your husband and tell him how much you love him. Hold his hand. Pray for him. Bless him.
“O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In the secret places of the cliff,
Let me see your face,
Let me hear your voice;
For your voice is sweet,
And your face is lovely.”
Your husband wants to call you his dove, his pure and loving wife. He wants to see your adoring face. Your voice of blessing calls to him.
But it’s a constant struggle, isn’t it?
That’s where God comes in.
Remember the cool of the Garden of Eden?
Adam and Eve walked with God in the coolness of the day … the love walk. A celebration of one flesh, one soul, one spirit. A union with God. An act of worship and adoration of God.
With God, all things are possible. Start today. See your man from God’s perspective.
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